*Originally published on my Wordpress blog 06.04.2021
I’ve been thinking lately a lot about much I have to be grateful for in life. I had some dark years and I wasn’t able to really reach out and touch all the positives that have been mine but I can do that now.
I have to start with the most basic gift that I was given at birth, a gift that influenced so many of my choices. Without this gift so much could not have happened. I am referring, of course, to my parents. My parents were old school, salt of the earth people. They grew up with solid and strong values and it was their goal to pass those on to their children. They were hard working, responsible, compassionate people. They were not demonstrative and, for the most part, not particularly warm but they cared deeply about their family and their community. They valued their religion. They valued curiosity and education. They most wanted to create a safe and secure home life for their nine children. Resources were limited but everyone had a bed to sleep in and no one ever had to go hungry. Yes, the house could be dark and, sometimes, scary. Nothing is perfect. They did the best they could with the tools they had and I am grateful for all they gave me.
One of the best things they gave me was my siblings. My parents were both from large, Catholic families. After my dad returned from the South Pacific, my parents most wanted to have their own large family, duplicating their own beginnings in life. I was the fifth child and first daughter in the family. Three more brothers came along later as did one little sister. As a child, my older brothers were my best pals. We all had responsibilities and chores and, of course, there was a lot of sibling horseplay and goofiness. It was a small house but it had big energy. We played board games and card games, baseball and pretend play. We walked to school, we walked to the library, we walked to the grocery, and we rode bikes to the public pool. We built roads in the lot next door for our bicycles and we climbed the oak tree, the persimmon trees, the avocado trees, and the walnut trees that flourished on the property. We listened to Vin Scully on the radio and watched Gilligan’s Island and the Twilight Zone on the TV. We followed each other in school and learned how to deal with teachers who thought they knew us because they had our older sibling(s). We didn’t need to go out of the family much for friends but, when we did, our friends became our siblings’ friends as well. The thing is, it ’s all still true. Well, maybe not the details but the feelings are still there. We all enjoy each other’s company and arrange a variety of smaller and whole group get togethers all year round. Most of us live in Northern California and it is easy for us to stay in touch virtually or in person. I know I could call on any one of them if I needed anything. We all know that about each other. We have weathered the deaths of our parents and still enjoy meeting up in the house that my dad built. I am so fortunate to have those siblings in my life.
Beyond family, I must say that I am so fortunate to be a healthy human being. When I was pregnant with my first child, there was a momentary miscarriage scare. The midwife reassured me. You are from peasant stock she told me. Your body was made for giving birth. You might lose this baby but you will manage. Your body was made for this. Those were true words. Survival of the fittest, right? I was lucky to have a strong gene pool to pull on during gestation. I was lucky that all through childhood and into later adulthood, no random bad health luck beset me. I was lucky that, despite years of (or maybe because of years of) high physical activity, I did not suffer debilitating injuries. Yes, I’ve had bike accidents but ,after the accidents, I was in the care of general practice physician or an orthopedic specialist and never in the care of a neurologist. Granted, I do my part to maintain good health. I don’t smoke tobacco and it has been years since I’ve regularly smoked other things, I drink alcohol in moderation, I enjoy physical activity, and I maintain a healthy weigh. Additionally, I always wear a seat belt and never DUI. I pay attention to stress levels in my life and moderate when necessary. I have a core group of friends (mostly family) for social support. All those things matter but I think what matters more than anything else is that I have been lucky. The Universe has treated me well when it comes to health issues. I expect more health concerns in time because that’s the nature of aging and luck will give out at some point. But, in the meantime, I will continue to appreciate every day that I am healthy.
High on my list of things to be forever grateful for is my education. My parents were not well educated. My dad left high school shortly before WW2 to help support his family and then he went into the military. He did earn his GED in post war days and he was a blue collar worker who read voraciously at night. Dinnertime conversation during the school year invariably began with a question from him directed at a random child’s face seated at the dinner table: “What did you learn in school today?” And that child had better have some kind of answer for him. The answer could spark an extended conversation but my dad might also launch the question at another face at the table. Either way, the message was, school is important and I expect you to pay attention. My mother was equally intense about the need for education. She particularly scrutinized report cards and took care of all correspondence with the school. I had 12 years of Catholic school education. In my case, that included a structured and rigorous curriculum. I hated - HATED - school but I think it was because of the dark and grim environment, particularly at the elementary school. The high school was better but it was a class conscious school and we were not the favored socio-economic class. Ugh. There was, however, always an assumption that my siblings and I would go to college. That was not negotiable but no one ever wanted to negotiate it . We wanted to go to college. Paying for it was another matter. All the parents could offer us was room and board if we went to the local state college but that was plenty of help. Again, I was lucky. I had a state college nearby. After two years and with a little bit of financial aid and a lot of two bit jobs, I transferred within the state college system to a larger, more urban, even more diverse school and my world really exploded. After earning my BA degree and traveling/working for a year, I went back to that same large urban college and acquired a teaching credential. I enjoyed teaching but I wanted more. I attended night and summer classes for three years at a local, highly regarded Jesuit college and earned an MA degree. It was expensive and I paid out of pocket but I definitely got my money’s worth. I have never stopped taking classes. English and creative writing, Spanish, art and art history - just lots of classes. And I read incessantly. So, yes, I consider my education to be one of the best gifts (outside of family and health) that the universe has given me.
Okay, the truth is I am not finished. There is much more to be thankful for but I don’t’ want to cram it into one post. Part 2 will feature some items that are perhaps more unique to me. See you back here in a while.
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