*This was originally posted on Wordpress 10.13.2019
I had surgery on my elbow a few days ago and have been sidelined from my yoga class and home practice. Yoga's intrusion into my life is unexpected enough. That I am bemoaning my inability to practice? That's unexpected on top of unexpected.
I had no idea ten years ago that there would be seven surgeries for me over the next ten years. What other unexpected medical issues are sitting behind the curtain, waiting for their turns?
Once upon a time I was annoyed with dogs and the dirt they tracked in. Ellie is now my unexpected embrace of dog kisses and tender eyes that watch me move around the house.
They called and said Larry was being taken to the hospital with chest pains and I said, "Oh, it happens. Don't worry. Just go there and be ready to wait around for tests and procedures." The unexpected was on the phone when they called back a half hour later. "He didn't make it," they sobbed. Impossible, I think .
That there is this place on earth where turquoise and orange dazzle the crowd into silent awe? and that I got to go there? An unexpected burst of beauty along the way to looking for wolves.
That there could be a person in the White House as doltish, as irresponsible, as narcissistic, as laughable, as heartless, and, yes, as dangerous as the current occupant is mind-bogglingly unexpected. I can only hope goodness and light will eventually prevail.
What was I thinking? Did I think my skin would always be smooth and soft? Did I think crepe skin was only for over 90 year olds? Apparently, I was oblivious. There's a two-fer for you... Unexpected that crepe skin has arrived and unexpected that I care that it has arrived, that I am embarrassed and ashamed of its presence.
The absentee neighbor (previously friendly enough) out of the blue decides to add a second story on to his garage so he can rent out yet another unit and make more money. And, out of nowhere, our kitchen turns dark, our view of sunsets is greatly diminished, and there is a dark wall overshadowing our deck and yard. The neighbor brushes off my upset. My anger eats at me for months.
That I have a secret keeper in my life? That I need a secret keeper to continue living? I would never have thought that would be the case.
A trip to Washington DC with 8th graders led to five more trips to Washington DC and that led to a trip to NYC and then to Chicago and then to NYC again and then to Dublin and then to NYC again (with side trips to Santa Fe, Alaska, and Wyoming tossed in there JFF). Where will this unexpected traveler's adventure that began in Washington DC go next?
Oh, my. I did the warm up activity at the painting class and the most remarkable piece of unexpected appeared.
Who knew Netflix could have so many unexpected pleasures?
My life wasn't supposed to be so predictable, so empty at this age. Maybe I'm doing something wrong? Maybe I have to change it up if I want this decade to be more unexpected?
I always have some excuse for not converting the predictable to the unexpected.
IDK. It shouldn't be unexpected but it always is. The way that the Christmas season catches me off guard and opens locked doors of memory and wonder? It feels like a brush with both the past and the future. The music, the lights, the colors, the winter starkness, the magic and mystery of connection. They catch me off balance and I fall into some place I'm willing to visit.
"Good morning," say unexpected tears as they enter the meditation space. "Good night," they echo as sleep covers the day up.
Laying my newborn son down on the bed when he was a wild 24 hours old, I was stunned by this realization: I am forever tied to this human being. His life will always matter to me. His happiness will be mine. His grief will be mine too. That thought overwhelmed me. How did I not see this coming? I can still see the room around us. I can feel the shattering implications of that thought.
Who knew that I could miss my children so much when their lives truly became their own? The blend of pride and longing, the yearning for connection that was, the need to be a shadow in their lives - it's all unexpected and complex.
The other afternoon I had the lovely pleasure of visiting with two of my favorite 30 something year old women. We enjoyed beverages and convo in an outside patio setting. There was a musician performing and his lyrical and engaging music was the perfect unexpected surprise and accompaniment to our visit. As they say, it's the little things that can make you sing.
This post began as an homage to a piece I read in the Sun Magazine. I was so taken with that piece of writing that I wanted to try my own notion of Unexpected Things. I put Marion Winik's article aside for a month or two and chose not to glance at it again until after I'd completed my own version. Here's the original if you are curious:
https://www.thesunmagazine.org/issues/525/unexpected-things
Writing about the unexpected reminds me of how random life is. I have a love/hate relationship with this randomness but no matter. I can love it or I can hate it but it won't matter, will it? Life will happen until one day when it doesn't. And that will be the quintessential unexpected moment.
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