Wait

*Originally published on my Wordpress blog 11.22.2021 

I woke up on the morning of November 9, 2016 overwhelmed with anxiety and upset. The unthinkable had occurred. I could not believe that the people of this country were so racist, bigoted, and shortsighted that they elected a white male with a sketchy financial/legal background who had been accused multiple times of sexual harassment and/or assault.  It was beyond belief to me that this could be the outcome of the national election. My stunned self walked around for the next week or so, silently lamenting the future for myself, for my children, for the country, for the planet. I likely might not have ever emerged from that shocked silence were it not for some wise words from a much respected friend. What he said to me changed my outlook not only on the election but also on life in general.

Essentially what he said was, “Stay curious. You have no idea what will happen next. Yes, in this moment this appears, to you anyway, to be a horrible outcome.  But, who knows? Look at all the conversations going on today that would not have been happening had the opponent won the race. You have no idea what changes may come out of this election. In the short run, it might seem like evil leadership is taking over but you don’t know what’s going to happen. In the end, a very different consequence could be in store for everyone.”  That was new thinking for me.  Maybe it shouldn’t have been new but it was. And it turned out to be a powerful strategy for dealing with uncertainty in life.

It got me through the last presidency and that’s huge. But it’s also gotten me though less political and more personal upsetting times.  I have had disappointments with my adult children - nothing devastating or permanently damaging - but difficult moments. In one situation, I was angry, hurt,  disappointed, all of it. I couldn’t see my way out of this pit until I realized that I was upset over some possible future event. It might happen, it might not happen. If it does, there could be a lot of different outcomes. Just wait. The thing is that it is hard to wait. It’s hard to float in limbo, wondering how It is all going to work out.  But at least I have an option. I have never shirked from hard work so I am taking on that challenge. 

As in every life, there are other regrets or disappointments, things I wish were different. I get agitated waiting for change, waiting for something to be revealed. I sometimes feel so impatient, so infuriated with “the universe”. Can’t it DO something for me? But then I have to acknowledge that I don’t get to control any of that. It is in my best interest to breathe deeply and focus on this minute (impossible for me to sustain for long). Wait. Stay curious. Everything changes. Sigh.