*Originally published on my Wordpress blog 09.23.2020
It’s been a while since I’ve been here because fire, smoke, extreme heat, pandemic, unsettling electioneering, civil unrest and, oh by the way, toss a birthday in there in the middle of hard times. Birthdays are not easy for me. They are a reckoning and this year was no different from any other recent year. Birthdays make me think about Deathdays and this year I found myself focused on celebrity deaths. That is odd for me as I rarely pay attention to celebrities. Frankly, I don’t connect well with your typical egocentric, money grabbing, often fake, celebrities. I have no time, no interest in them but this year the deaths of three well known people (well known = definition of celebrity) brought me to hushed tears and aching grief.
The first of these is John Prine. I first met John right around the time he was stepping into the spotlight. I was a college student and his music and his voice captivated me. His honesty, openness, humility, sense of humor, kindness, ability to connect with common, regular people have always impressed me. He never lost his roots as a Chicago kid turned Chicago neighborhood mail carrier. He was just a kind and talented guy who I liked to fancy as my boyfriend. It’s not as if I obsessed over him or followed every detail of his life but rather that his music flowed through my consciousness regularly and with delight all these years. I felt connected to him in a way that I don’t normally feel connected to any celebrity. When he was diagnosed with COVID-19 in late March, I was sure he was going to make it. The world was not ready to lose him. When he died on April 7th, I was stunned. I have listened to his music and reviewed his lyrics so many times in these months since he died. Those words and his voice have made me a better person. They have made me kinder, more reflective, more empathic, lighter, and more joyful. How could I ever ask for more from a person? I think one short line of his shows a lot: "If heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV." Talk about connecting with the common person. Everyone knows what heartache is and John reminds us that we are all in this thing called life together.
The second of these sad days was the death of Rep. John Lewis. What more needs to be said about John Lewis beyond the fact that he was a remarkable man and inspiring leader? He consistently worked to end legalized racial segregation and I’m certain that he used his Batchelor’s degree in Religion and Philosophy to ground his life. He served the people of Georgia in the US House of Representatives for 17 terms but he served all Americans beyond that. I didn’t follow him obsessively either but I was aware of his voice in the politics of the day. I know what he stood for. I know how much he campaigned for those Americans who are not seen by others. His ability to connect with people and his kindness allowed him to richly see people. He was able to urge humanity to work for justice for all and his influence was heard and felt in the community. When I read late last year that he had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, I though, "Oh no! Don’t take him away. We need him so much right now.” But he left in July and we have only his words to hang onto in these hard and stressful days. He told us, “If you see something that is not right, not fair, not just, you have a moral obligation to do something about it.” But he also said, “Do not get lost in a sea of despair. Be hopeful. Be optimistic. Our struggle is not the struggle of a day, a week, a month, or a year. It is the struggle of a lifetime. Never, ever be afraid to make some good noise and get in good trouble, necessary trouble.” He makes me want to be a better person.
I’m sure you can guess the third of these influential deaths: Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I have been enamored with her from the time she was selected for the Supreme Court in 1993. I will acknowledge that I was not so familiar before that but I clearly benefitted from her work even if I didn’t know it at the time. She represented all Americans but, in some decisions, her voice was raised for women. She fought for their rights but what she did for women benefitted men as well. I love her line: “I ask no favor for my sex. All I ask of our brethren is that they take their feet off our necks.” When the brethren started taking their feet off women’s necks, women could be free to develop their own talents and not be held back by artificial barriers. The world is a better place for all people because of RBG’s intelligence, hard work, determination, feisty and articulate writing, and her vision. She had health issues off and on but rarely missed any of her Supreme Court obligations. Her strength and resolve led me to believe that she would carry us beyond the upcoming election. I was devastated to learn of her death a little over a week ago. I mourn her presence, her strength, and her vision. I hope that children will dress up like her for their “famous person” projects and other children will recognize her in their friends’ presentations. I am scared that everything she worked for will be demolished by future courts but I am not giving into that now. I am going with John Lewis’s words above. I will not get lost in a sea of despair but I will have faith that RBG’s work was not in vain.
These are celebrities. They are gone. Death has a way of stepping in and changing things, eh? It has a way of calling our attention to what matters and maybe even calling us to be better people. Here’s the thing. These three courageous celebrities were regular people, at least at the beginning. I don’t know too much about their childhoods but they weren’t born these marvelous, remarkable people. They grew into that. I don’t know. Is it possible for anybody to grow into that? Can anybody become the powerful influencers that they were? It might be a question of circumstances but I think that within our own circles we can become heroic. I guess that’s what all wisdom keepers say. Do what you can in your own realm, your own part of the world. The ripple effect is real. If I treat people with respect, understanding, and kindness then that behavior will extend out into the community. If I look for Beauty and Truth and then share Beauty and Truth, perhaps, in some small way, I can make a difference. I’m not asking to be a major iconic symbol. Somebody else can do that. But I can at least do what I can do in my own community. Life is complex. Being a thoughtful human being is hard. You can only be yourself. And, by yourself, you can leave the world a better place. How’s that for a message from Death?
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