*Originally published on my Wordpress blog 12.10.2021
Hello, Christmas!
You’re back!
I used to have a crush on you but, of course, I was just a kid then, a kid with shiny eyes. I could not get enough of you. I loved every minute of the time you spent with me. I dressed for you, I brushed my hair for you, I laughed for you. I wrote you letters. I waited and waited for you. Every December you were the sparkle behind my smile, the reason for my best behavior. I so desperately wanted your attention.
And you gave me attention. You made my parents smile and be silly sometimes. You made my brothers include me in their shopping excursions. You were the reason my mom made all of us help with cookie baking. You were the reason for cookies and homemade coffee cake. You even made church better. You brought sweet music, twinkle lights, a baby in a manger, and magic and mystery. Oh, I was in love.
When I got a little older I went through a period where I wanted to be cool. Cool people keep their distance and they keep their truth (including crushes) to themselves. I was good at that. I stopped writing you letters but I still waited for you. Mostly , though, I was waiting for your friend, Christmas Vacation. I liked him the best. I made eyes at him while ignoring you and enjoyed every moment he would give me. In those days, I dressed only for myself . My long hair flopped around madly but I wondered if you saw me. I wondered if you noticed me at all. You weren’t very attentive. You did give me music and a world bedecked with festive lights. To please you, I painted cards and gave friends rocks and shells that I found at the beach. But I had the feeling that you were no longer interested in the older woman I had become. I stopped meeting you at church, I stopped hanging out with you except for eggnog and Irish Whiskey. Because I could not feel your presence so much anymore, I tossed you aside. I wrote you off and decided that skiing was a better winter crush anyway.
But, as sometimes happens with crushes, circumstances changed and we met again . Yes, I was still the older woman but now I had two tiny children and, all of the sudden, I was in love with you again. Oh my! This time was almost as much fun as the earlier crush. I started getting ready for your arrival in October. I’m not a shopper but I went shopping on your account. I am not a cook, but I made cookies and traditional coffee cake just for you. I introduced my children to your music and we sang together to encourage you to make yourself known. I got silly, in the way that crushes can do to a person. You were the best. SO good that I think I wanted to marry you. Good thing I didn’t.
You were charming for years while my children lived here but, as often happens in long term relationships, we grew apart. Crush or no crush, familiarity has a way of stepping into the days and changing things. I changed and you changed but neither of us made the effort to touch the other. Dare I say, the thrill is gone? The kids left and took it with them?
But don’t get me wrong. There’s no unkindness or disrespect between us. You and I are cordial with each other. We make room for each of us to be what we are at this time of the year. I give a nod to the traditions by doing a little shopping and wrapping. I can’t get excited enough anymore to do the whole Christmas tree thing or to do any baking. You, on the other hand, treat me still to lovely music and light displays and, when COVID is not in the picture, you often arrange for me to see theatrical performances that please me. So, you know, we’re okay, aren’t we?
Would it be delightful to share a sweet crush again? I think so. Would it be heady to bring a little passion and excitement to our world during these dark and cold December says? Absolutely. But that takes effort. Passion doesn’t thrive if it’s not fed. It takes some boldness, maybe a risk or two? If we want to rekindle our crush there needs to be some serious seduction going on here. What do you say, Christmastime? Are you in the mood for seduction?
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